Tonight on an all-new, really confusing episode of The Blacklist …

The information that keeps civilization alive is kept on a black-sited prison that inexplicably houses that information along with the world’s most dangerous criminals. So Red gets inside the prison …

(Insert James Spader quip about Mexican fish or something)

The Alliance that screwed up both Red AND Berlin does all this stuff … wait, what does Lizzie have to do with this? How long was Tom working for Red as well?

What the … Red nearly dies, then gets up and runs the place like he’s an older version of Jack Bauer? And what was the deal with the dude with the apple back in Season 1? Was he working for Fitch? For the Alliance?

(Insert James Spader quip about a girl he knew in middle school)

Why does the FBI screw everything up? Does Ressler do anything right?

And why is Red never telling Lizzie why all of this is so damned important?! At this point, we’re guessing Red and Lizzie are aliens. I mean … WHAT THE …

(Insert Spader quip)

(Also, Red shoots a bunch of people)