So we’re three days away from needing to put up our new Mayan calendars. (I’m not sure whether to go with the Day-By-Day Human Genome or the Lindsay Lohan Arrests version.)

But remember all the other 2012 talk? The History Channel documentaries? The History Channel does indeed load up with 2012 programming, including a new Brad Meltzer special, on Dec. 20, and they continue with more apocalyptic programs Dec. 21, but Dec. 22 seems quite normal. By Dec. 24, we have a Pawn Stars marathon.

The Discovery Channel also dipped its toes in the 2012 waters. They’ll air the 2012 Apocalypse shows twice this week, and they’ll have some apocalyptic fare Dec. 21, but only in the afternoon. Some of it curiously repeats Dec. 22, along with something about zombies. By Dec. 23, the zombie thing is the only doomsday-ish program on the air.

We also haven’t heard much from Porter Stansberry, the guy who ran ads all through 2011 insisting that the world might survive, but America wasn’t. He is apparently peddling something about Obama declaring Islamosocialist martial law and taking a third term.

But the lamestream media isn’t covering any of this! Though we were warned to prepare for a “full year of hooey,” everyone has moved on to other news. I’ve heard more about the New York Jets today than I have about our imminent doom!