MMM Jr. goes to church

It was an “Advent lessons and carols” service, which in retrospect was not the best place for an inquisitive 4-year-old who doesn’t go to such things that often.

Imagine the conversation taking place in a stage whisper …


What is it?

When are they going to turn the lights on?

Well, they’re going to light all these candles to make it brighter.

But when?

I don’t know.

(Skipping ahead — candles now lit)



Who’s singing this?

See all those people up there? They’re singing.

But what are their names?

I don’t kn — I’ll tell you more later, can you be quiet for a while?

But why?

Because we’re all enjoying the music.

Why are we enjoying the music?

Because it’s nice — please? You’ll get a treat when we get home. Can you be quiet for five minutes unless you have to go potty?

OK. (Moves hand to cover mouth)


Yes, what is it?

I’m being quiet.

Good … well … actually, you’re not — but good. We’ll leave after one more song, OK?



(exasperated) What is it?

When are they going to turn the lights on?

Remember? They lit the candles.

Is the light — the candles — the light on the candles? Is that fire?

Yes, but it’s OK.

How do they make the fire?

We come in here and pray to Prometheus for a well-timed … look, can you wait one more song? Please?

OK, Daddy. (Plays with his “Bionicle” toy on the hymnal.)


Wh … What is it?

This is Bionicle’s Bible.

That’s sweet, son. Now can you be quiet for this last song before we go?



#$%@! What?

I’m being quiet.


One thought on “MMM Jr. goes to church

  1. Very funny stuff! Reminds me of the kid in “It’s a Wonderful Life” who keeps tugging on George’s coat tail saying “Excuse me! Excuse me!” When George finally says “Excuse you for what!” The kids says, “I burped.”

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