music, videos

Guitar heroes, ’80s video style

Apologies to Captain Video, Aldo Nova, Chevy Nova … heck, just about everybody.

“Greetings, Mr. Nova. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to star in a video convincing viewers of a new network called MTV that you are a guitar god.

“You will be given a low budget for this video, most of which will be spent on the helicopter.

“The rest of the budget will be spent on the laser you’ll shoot from your guitar to open the warehouse.

“You will be joined in the mission by a nerd carrying that guitar …

“… plus a big-haired emoting drummer …

“… a keyboardist who seems surprised by his five seconds of screen time …

“… and a generic guitarist, generic bassist and maybe 10 people gathered in the warehouse.

“Be warned that you may be attacked by a crazed woman following director’s orders to, quote, go nuts, unquote.

“We suggest that you attempt to escape using the following methods. First, go out into the street to pontificate on material excess. To demonstrate the bling-bling lifestyle, we have procured one bad-ass Pontiac.

“You may also use the famous Nova disappearing act …

“… or you may simply dissolve into what we call the pre-Photoshop vortex.

“If that fails, we suggest you misdirect the attacker with a single-entendre lyric mimicking the timing of Krusty the Klown’s ‘Tonight, I’m going to suck … (pause) … your blood!’

“Oh, wait, we’re sorry. That’s Heather Nova.

“Good luck with the mission. Or whatever — hey, do you have her number?”

Enjoy …


One thought on “Guitar heroes, ’80s video style

  1. What, you’re not posting the Heather Nova video while you’re dipping into the trough? I’d accuse you of some kind of -ism if I knew what the right one was. Antiambinovism? Consider yourself picketed. Rrrehhh.

    Brilliant. Thx for the Music Time link too. For some reason the spinning bowties from that video were more burned into my brain than the rest, which seems really freakin weird looking back at the entire train wreck, I mean video now.

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